Season 7  
Week 11

Weekly Report

Intro
Week 11 brought monster performances from all the usual suspects: Saquon, Amon-Ra, and Bo Nix. Unfortunately, as Joe Burrow learned, sometimes even a near-flawless effort isn’t enough to secure the W. Content warning on the tweet below – this is one of the saddest things I have ever seen. A man defeated. 

Matchups
Sometimes you just barely skate by and have to act like you knew what you were doing the whole time. That was certainly the case for Cosmo Cougar this weekend as he almost got his shit wrecked by a golf cart during his routine. See the video below and pay attention to the driver who DUCKS as he almost takes Cosmo’s head clean off. Lt. Dans Battleship also barely survived a fatal blow from Kroenke Trouser Snakes and they’re trying to play it off like the first dude to run up to Cosmo afterwards. You don’t want to scare the kids in the audience like me at Disney World in 2001 – we went to the Indiana Jones exhibit and I swear I watched a car blow up and a guy die. Everyone in the cast, crew, my family, and the audience claimed it was part of the show. But I know what I saw. RIP to that guy.

MVP & LVP
Taysom Hill was a hero for Lamary Had a Kittle Sam this week, netting 41.52 points. Tough to describe the level of appreciation Lamary Had a Kittle Sam must feel for this guy. It’s probably akin to seeing someone you kinda knew in high school at the grocery store and you both make the silent agreement to not say anything to one another and avoid a horrible situation. He might even just leave the store entirely so you don’t risk running into each other again in aisle 7. Gotta love that guy – don’t ever want to speak to him or see him again in my life…but what a legend.

Management Botch
Lil Uzi Hurts went Jerry Jones on everyone’s ass this week, capitalizing on a league-low 79.4% of their possible points. I’m going to give out a bit of free management (and frankly, life) advice here: Dig in. Don’t change what you’re doing. Everyone else is wrong and you are right. They'll tell you "Your billion dollar stadium is literally falling apart and your players can't see the ball"...What THEY don’t see is the larger picture and vision like you do. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that you don’t know what you’re doing, that you have no idea how to manage your roster. They told Galileo the same thing. Stay the course. You're in this for the long haul.

League Rankings
Lamary Had a Kittle Sam seems to be cruising to the playoffs. The rest of y’all are making it too easy on them. Since there’s no such thing as a jinx – this is the best team in the league. After running the numbers, I’d be surprised if they didn’t win the championship. Lord knows The Comedy Crew ain't stopping them. We should consider relegation in fantasy football -- these teams are in the same league but they're barely playing the same sport. It's almost disrespectful to have Lamary Had a Kittle Sam associated with The Comedy Crew in any way.