Season 7  
Week 13

Weekly Report

Intro
The normal guy that writes these went a little too hard at Thanksgiving and he’s on the IR this week with a tummy. I’ll spare you the details. Luckily for you the unpaid intern is here to save the day! You might be wondering if I am ready for my big shot. Let me tell you - I don't scratch my head unless it itches and I don't dance unless I hear some music. I will not be intimidated. Copy the link above to share this with your leaguemates! They can view this recap just by clicking on the link. No FG account required. Wow!

Matchups
I’m still buzzing off that epic Jameis performance last night. Over 500 total yards and responsible for 6 total TDs. Wow! Vintage Jameis. Enough real NFL stuff - let’s get to fantasy. I’m not going to beat around the bush. Lil Uzi Hurts stinks. This was a pathetic matchup against 3 Finger Combo in da Stank and an even more pathetic performance by this DONK, Lil Uzi Hurts . Once a lame, always a lame. In other news, You Are Worthy got WHOOPED by Lt. Dans Battleship. You know who your daddy is, doncha You Are Worthy? If you want to play in this fantasy league, you answer me when I ask you who is your daddy? Who's your daddy, You Are Worthy?

MVP & LVP
Will Dissly simply did not get the job done for You Are Worthy this week, scoring just 0.0 points. It’s giving the normal recap guy eating so much gravy-soaked stuffing he had an epic IBS flare-up and is now on IR. Simply not getting the job done. He’ll be fine though. At least physically…I think. Watching him go full art gallery Sandy Lyle at the Thanksgiving table was a memory I’ll never forget. “Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted……I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.” Iconic scene. On the flip side, Jerry Jeudy knows the crown is heavy. Big time week for The Greatest Show On Paper dropping 40.5 points.

Management Botch
You Are Worthy went full Aaron Rodgers and crapped in their mess kit. With 140.6 possible points, they decided to go another way and drop 101.2. Like Aaron Rodgers, it may be time to pack it in, You Are Worthy. Time to start selling magic elixirs and potions and shit on QVC. The football (both fantasy and real) career is over. You think football is still fun?

League Rankings
Kroenke Trouser Snakes is the best team in the league IMO. I know football, and what you did with those boys, Kroenke Trouser Snakes. You were the right man for the job, Coach! Does everyone hate this person right now because of a simmering undercurrent of jealousy? Yes. Does Kroenke Trouser Snakes have a shot at winning the ‘ship this year? Absolutely not. It’s not their year. Like Toad making unhinged winner predictions in Mario Party 2 with 5 rounds left, we predict an epic run by whoever most limped (or will limp) into the playoffs. I am not smart enough to figure out which team that is - you get what you pay for. But you, reader, know who it is.